My pug has become a beautiful puggerfly
Nice outlaw name, did your mom pick it out for you?
who says cheesy pickup lines are dumb if you use one on me i will probably kiss you 10/10 recommend
When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you
Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.
Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.
My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it.
I am tearing up
i am 0% the person i was three years ago and i would probably get in a fight with 2011 me
[sleep-over voice] are you awake
[sleep-over reply voice] yeah
[regrettable sleepover invitee voice] you guys SHH
[confused sleep-over voice] what is the meaning of life
[annoyed sleep-over voice] dude shut up
[sleep-over host voice] you guys be quiet my moms gonna hear us
[unknown voice] you kids wanna buy some drugs